The Facebook Messenger Android app user experience:

1. App fails to update, so you have to reinstall it.
   
2. You login and have to accept all the bullish terms of service again.
   
3. The loading wheel gets stuck so you have to restart the app and do it all a second time.
   
4. It tries to download your language and fails, so you have to click “download again” and wait for the app to slowly crunch everything together.
   
5. Now you can finally use the fucking webapp.